You Matter
This was created to provide ideas and examples of the skills busy parents can use to keep their teens away from marijuana and other illicit drugs. There are opportunities every day to turn ordinary times like driving your child to school or to the mall, or watching TV together, into teachable moments to let your teen know what’s important to you. Many parents put off talking to their kids about drugs or alcohol because of time constraints, but just a little of your time once in a while can make a lifetime of difference.
Teens that learn about the risks of drug use from their parents or caregivers are less likely to use drugs than those who don’t. Parents are the most important influence in their kids’ lives. Many parents don’t realize that they play a crucial role in their teens decision not to use drugs. Two-thirds of youth ages 13 to 17 say losing their parents’ respect and pride is one of the main reasons they don’t smoke marijuana or use other drugs.
Tell Your Teen What You ExpectIt’s important that your teen knows what you expect. Make it clear that you do not want any marijuana or any illicit drug use in your house. Tell your teen that there will be consequences for using drugs. As your teen enters middle school and then high school, your child will be at greater risk of using marijuana and alcohol. Teens need to know where you stand. Here are some clear ways you can tell your teens what you expect: “I’ve been thinking lately that I’ve never actually told you this: I don’t want you using marijuana, alcohol, tobacco or any drug.” “The rule in our house is that nobody uses drugs.”
Set Rules
Even though your teens are getting older and spending more time without you, it’s more important than ever to set rules and expectations. Setting a firm rule of no marijuana or other drug use will help your teen resist pressures to use drugs.
Parents need to enforce rules consistently and fairly. When rules are broken, some possible consequences could include: restricting internet and television use, suspending outside activities, such as going to the mall or movies, or disallowing telephone calls.
Risky Situations
Let your teens know that you do not want them in risky situations. Tell them:
“I don’t want you riding in a car with a driver who’s been using marijuana or who’s been drinking.”
“It’s my job as a parent to keep you safe, so I’m going to ask you questions
about whom you’re with and what you are doing.”
Giving Advice on Avoiding Risky Situations
Here are some lines you can give your teens to help them stay away from risky situations:
“I like you, but I don’t like drugs.”
“My dad (or mom, grandmother, etc.) would ground me if he (or she)
knew I was around marijuana.”
“No, thanks. It’s not for me.”
“I don’t do drugs. I could get kicked off the team if anyone found out.”
Beware of Messages That Encourage Drug Use
Many parents are concerned about messages on television, in movies and music that encourage or trivialize drug use and that fail to show the harm of using drugs. You can set rules about what your teens watch on television, in the movies they see or the songs they listen to. If you have a computer at home connected to the Internet, you should let your children know that you are in charge of their time online. Teens cannot only find Web sites that promote drugs, but they can actually buy drugs over the Internet.
Experts say that to create an environment that helps keep your kids away from marijuana and other drugs, you should:
- Get involved in your kids’ lives.
- Know what your children are doing — their activities and how they spend their time.
- Know who your teen’s friends are.
- Check in with the parents who are hosting the party your teen will be attending.
- Praise and reward good behavior.
Research shows that kids who are not regularly monitored by their parents are four times more likely to use drugs. Before going out, have them tell you WHO they are going to be spending time with, WHAT they will be doing, WHEN or what time they will be at their expected destination and finally, exactly WHERE they are going to be. Every once in a while, check on your teens to see if they’re where they said they would be. It’s not pestering, it’s parenting.
Lots of teens get into trouble with marijuana, other illicit drugs, or alcohol right after school, from 3 to 6 p.m. Try to be with your teens then, but if you can’t, make sure your child is doing something positive with a trusted adult around: sports, jobs, clubs, after-school programs or faith-based groups. If your teens have to be at home, make sure they are doing homework or chores and not hanging out unsupervised with friends. Remember how important you are in keeping your teens away from marijuana and other drugs.
Catching Your Child With Drugs
If you’ve caught your child using drugs or “holding” them for a friend, wait until you are calm to talk to your teen. Then tell your teen its okay to be honest with you, that you want to know the truth. The following phrases can get good communication going: “I’m really disappointed. You know I don’t approve of drug use. I don’t approve of your using marijuana, alcohol or other drugs.”
Your Child Admits to Having Tried Drugs
The idea is to reinforce the rules about marijuana and other drug use while
keeping the lines of communication open. “I’m glad you told me, but let me remind you that drugs get in the way of your being healthy and happy. You can lose your driver’s license. You can get kicked off the team. You can fail at school.” If your child has admitted to using drugs recently, you might want to ask your doctor or counselor for help.
Your Child Says, “Everyone Is Doing It.”
You say, “I’m not interested in what other kids are doing. I know I don’t want you using marijuana or other drugs.”
Your Teen’s Friend or Parent Tried Drugs
You can say, “I don’t want you hanging out with kids who smoke marijuana or
drink alcohol. You know that when you’re around people who use drugs, I’m afraid
they’ll try to pressure you to use drugs.”
If Your Teen Asks, “Did You Ever Do Drugs?”
It’s important to be honest, but you don’t need to include too many details. If you
did use drugs, you can say, “When I was young I smoked marijuana because some
of my friends did. I thought I needed to in order to fit in. If I’d known then about
the consequences, I never would have tried marijuana, and I’ll do everything I can to help keep you away from it.”
For more parenting information, go to www.theantidrug.com
Calling on Your Community
You and your family are not alone. You can call on your neighbors to join forces with you. Many parents have organized networking groups in their neighborhoods for talking about how to handle problems. Other parents organize alcohol- and drug-free neighborhood events and parties. Your teen’s school has people who can help —guidance counselors, teachers, coaches and other adults. Many parents also find help in their faith communities, and many belong to other community groups. When parents and teens take the time to talk to each other, their lives can be healthier and more enjoyable, and in the process, you’ll be doing your part in helping your teens to grow up drug-free.